I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize