My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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