2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
