New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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