Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
