So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
