hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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