How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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