Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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