Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
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To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
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You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?