yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early