She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful