so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
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why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
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I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.