WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
