Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
