i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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