Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
