I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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