weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
