You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
