You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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