HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
