i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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