you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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