i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
