She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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