Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize