Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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