So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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