Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize