I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
