i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.