I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.