You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
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They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
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Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?