If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.