shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
