if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
My balls are so social today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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