I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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