He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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