what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
