I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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