Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
