She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
This is my gift to your gina
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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