I'm sorry my penis didn't work
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
