I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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