It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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