I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize