why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We need to get me chipped asap
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
