So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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