It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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