I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
