CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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