Well apparently he's into motor boating.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Randomize
