The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
