He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
