Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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