You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You made out with two different species that night
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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