My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
