you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
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