my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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