Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize