i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize