I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
