whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
