Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize