Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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